Do you understand ‘youth culture’ or ‘young people’?

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Those are actually two very different things. Understanding a boat is not the same as understanding the sea.

Of course, a response to that is ‘sure, Tim, but the boat doesn’t create the sea, whereas youth culture is a direct product of young people.’ Fair point, but is it though?

To what extent is youth culture actually created by young people themselves? If popular culture comes primarily from music, games, clothes, books, sports – in relationship with news, markets, education, politics, technology – etc. then all these things are the purview of adults whose job it is to pre-empt the needs and desires of young people, use available resources, and then create something for them to aspire into. Youth culture then, is largely the by-product of cultural marketing, entertainment companies, and broader secondhand experiences – conceived, designed, packaged, and sold almost exclusively by adults.

Granted, all of this is heavily reliant on trend-spotting, which needs to be very receptive to the voice of young people; but 1) it’s still all largely processed by adults, and 2) we’re still talking about a group of young people that were influenced by the last trends of youth culture – which was also packaged by adults.

Understanding youth culture is not the same as understanding young people.

This is a super important distinction to make as it means that a lot of youth culture is aspirational rather than actual. It’s created outside of them to step into, rather than blossoming directly from them as young people. Culture, in this sense, works as some form of role modelling or inhabitable zones. Young people are therefore forming identifies by reaching for what (culturally) is attractive to them from outside of themselves and ‘deciding’ (whether subliminally or liminally) whether to step into it.

In which case, we as youth leaders need to stop talking exclusively about how to speak into culture and start to literally speak culture instead.

Can we form healthy, distinct, and uniquely aspirational culture in our youth work communities? What is it that we can help them reach for? What relational biases and personal visions can we influence?

Young people are capable of so much more than their cultural whims suggest. Let’s give them that opportunity for more.

This is a big topic – and linked to things I’ve written previously on relevancy, and ‘supra-cultural’ traits – so expect more on this to come.

 

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What is my PhD about?

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Some folk have been asking me about my research recently, and I kinda dread the question. It’s a mixture of complicated to explain and difficult to justify. So, I thought I’d take a few minutes to answer some questions for those who are interested.

What’s your research title?

‘An exegetical and socio-historical examination into the identity and missional significance of the people group known as ‘God-fearers’ in the Book of Acts, with some exploration of their potential contemporary equivalence.’

What’s an easier way of saying that?

Who are those God-fearers in the book of Acts, why were they important, and do they still exist in some form today?

Who are ‘God-fearers’?

There’s a range of possible views from pious Jews, to interested Gentiles, to proselytes/Jewish converts, to a formal Gentile group within the synagogues, to, well nobody; just a group that Luke made up to make a literary point. I think that they are probably some form of 1st-5th Century Gentiles with an interest in the monotheism, ethics, and rituals of Judaism – at least enough to attend or donate to a synagogue – but they haven’t converted or won’t due to their social position. But there’s much more to be said, and even that was really pretty speculative at best.

Can you break that into parts?

Part 1. Lit review. Looking at just about everything that’s been written on God-fearers, inc. primary evidence from archeological and epigraphical sources.

Part 2. Exegesis. Studying the book of Acts, and particularly the God-fearer/God-worshipper passages in detail. Who they were and how they functioned within the narrative.

Part 3. Missiology. Looking at which (if any) contemporary groups might overlap with this historic group, and whether similar mission practices might produce similar results.

Why this topic?

I first became interested in God-fearers while studying them for an undergrad essay nearly fifteen years ago. Since then I’ve kept up with the research culminating in my MA dissertation in 2018 (for which I earned a distinction). They seemed to have had a massive impact within Paul’s missionary work, yet we know very little definitive about them. I can’t help but feel they hold the key to the massive expansion of the early church and could perhaps help us engage in more effective mission today.

What are you going to have to learn?

Areas of research will include Second Temple Judaism, early Christianity, early Roman history, advanced Greek, broad New Testament studies and criticism, genre theories, cultural (and religious) hybridity theory, some archaeological methods, social network theory (no, not the online one), and of course exegesis and hermeneutics at a high level. I’ll also need to learn German and maybe French because some research isn’t available in English.

Why are you not studying youth work?

Although this will have an impact on my youth work, my first passion has always been knowing God better through broader biblical theology – especially the New Testament. I believe that committing to know God and His Word better is the best training you can have for any ministry. I’ll keep seeking to grow as a youth worker through reading, experience, and training – but not in this particular academic arena.

Why are you not studying at a Bible College?

I’ve done that twice already and wanted a change. I’m also suspicious that I’ll need to work harder to defend my assumptions within a non-confessional network of people who don’t share my baseline convictions. I was also looking for a different challenge, and a bigger set of resources to lean on. Finally, I met a very knowledgeable supervisor that understands my area better than anyone else that I’ve spoken to so far – and he doesn’t work for a Bible College.

How are you doing this while working?

I’m taking the PhD part time, so it’s probably going to be a six-year adventure. I’m studying for a bit every morning on weekdays, attending online seminars a couple of times a week, and I’m meeting semi-regularly online with a supervisor. It fits around my job.

Are you going to leave at the end of it and become a nerdy professor or something?

That’s not my plan. I’m always open to God’s leading, and who knows where I’ll be at 39 or 40 years old! (Which is when I’ll be finished). But there are no plans right now to move on from what I’m doing.

What can I pray for?

Thank you. Pray for me to find Jesus in my studies, and to become a deeper disciple. Pray for my health – that I remember to eat, sleep, and exercise well; and pray for me to be a loving husband and quality youth leader during this time. Pray for the research to bear fruit, make sense, and actually change lives. Thanks. 🙂

One of the most serious yet neglected reasons youth workers quit.

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They’re not truly part of the body.

This sounds like an odd thing to say, but let me give you a story and you tell me if you think I’m right.

In my first youth and childrens’ work position Sunday mornings were immensely busy. I was often the first person to arrive in church and the last to leave. I was responsible for the first fifteen minutes of the service, then I oversaw the four Sunday Schools in the halls across the road. If I had a free minute, I’d usually sneak into my office and do some prep for the youth club that evening. It was quite lonely – which is not a feeling that one should naturally associate with gathered times of worship. Every fourth Sunday I ran the entire all-age service. As a result, I only attended (at most) three or four entire services in my whole four years in that post. If I’m sure honest, I can only really remember part of one. When I asked my wife, she couldn’t even remember that.

This is not an isolated story – maybe it even resonates with your own? Everywhere I go, I meet youth and children’s workers who are out of the main service for most weeks. The wisest of them rota in a week where they’re not required, but that’s usually just one in four, and (as any pastor will tell you) not doing anything doesn’t mean people still won’t require you for everything.

Desperate for community

After three years in that position, I joined a home group. I wasn’t required to (and as a big believer in working hours; I don’t think this should be a demand), but I wish someone looked into my personal growth earlier and encouraged me to. It was bittersweet. It was helpful in that I suddenly had a place of real fellowship and prayer, but it hurt in that it highlighted just how much I had been missing.

An immensely important part about being a Christian is gathering with your brothers and sisters to worship together. Mutual edification, sharing communion, equipping for mission, etc. happens in the gathered body. Although worship does also happen in other zones too (and I think that the church should de-centralise its main service), the dominant culture of worship today is still that Sunday time together.

Almost all of my times of worship in that first job we’re in spaces I was running or were alongside young people or children with dramatically different spiritual needs and temperaments than my own as an adult. I couldn’t switch off and just be part of it.

Working or gathering?

There is also the odd tug-of-war between being a ‘member’ of a church and an ‘employee’ of a church. These lines are often very blurry, which can make even the best-intentioned worker feel distant and out-of-place in family times of worship. A scary question to ask a youth worker is whether they would choose the church they work at for personal worship if they weren’t, in fact, working there.

If a youth or childrens’ worker is rarely in the gathering to receive from God, be challenged by others, add fellowship as a community-member and not just as a leader, then what happens to their own growth?

My concern is that there are a significant number of youth and children’s workers who always feel ‘on’ on a Sunday time of gathered worship, to such the degree that they don’t feel part of the worshipping community that God has called them to. Not only does this make them less effective, but it stunts their own personal growth and spiritual accountability.

So, what can we do about it?

Line-mangers take this seriously. Your youth and children’s workers need worship and fellowship. Make it happen. Do you know what your worker is doing?

Pastors take this seriously. Have you bought into a church culture where a small number of employed people are paid to ‘provide’ a service for others to consume? Are you also not part of the body?

Volunteers take this seriously. Step up to take responsibility so that the worker can delegate more effectively. Do you know where your worker is struggling?

Youth worker take this seriously. Your faith and your family come first, and both require a community of worshippers to belong with. Do you feel you belong?

 

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Let’s talk about toxic people…

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*Deep breath*

‘Toxic people’ in and of itself, is a toxic phrase. It can too easily lead us to write off huge swaths of needy, afraid, and hurting people by cavalierly labelling them and subsequently downgrading their social status in our minds. That seems a wee bit rude does it not?

So, let’s start with that. Not all ‘toxic people’ are actually toxic people, we just need to learn to be kinder, more understanding, and actively compassionate. Foibles, bad habits, eccentricities, personality differences, or slow personal growth don’t necessarily make someone ‘toxic.’

Some people are not toxic people at all, they are just ill-fitting in the positions we have them in. Because of this they can come across as disruptive, clumsy, inept, rude, dismissive, or even borderline abusive. These can sometimes be signs of a good person in the wrong role, rather than a toxic person just being toxic. Maybe have the conversation?

Some people are not toxic but are neurodivergent in a way you might not recognise – and they might not either. Educate yourself and shift your habits and attitudes with them.

Some people are not toxic people, you just don’t like them. That’s fine at one level as long as you’re able to look it in the face, try to understand the nature of it, try to live with it respectfully… and maybe try fix it.

Other toxic people are only a little bit toxic. This is often because they are hurt, fearful or a mixture of both. To defend themselves they might have adopted some ‘toxic’ habits such as storytelling (nice word for lying), attention seeking, projecting, gossiping, exaggerating, judging, showing a general lack of awareness or empathy, having an increased obsession with conspiracy, needing to be ‘in the know’, being constantly passive-aggressive, being highly critical or controlling, fixating on irrelevant details, having an unpredictable or reactive character, or even just being a bit rude.

There are some toxic habits, that even people who are just a little bit toxic could have, that are always inappropriate in a youth club setting. These include being prone to anger, having a threatening posture (or actively making threats), being highly interrogative or openly hostile. That person is to be removed from leadership immediately.

Some toxic people are not actually toxic people; however, they might be – genuinely – toxic to us. There might be behaviour patterns, personality clashes or conversational habits that trigger us in various ways. Sometimes we need to recognise this and learn to deal with it, other times we need to remove ourselves from these people. Note, that’s not removing them from us. It’s our stuff, not theirs.

Some people are actually toxic people, but only at certain times or on certain topics. It might be you can gently nudge them during periods of non-toxic lucidity or try to limit their exposure to toxic-behaviour triggers (assuming you’re in a position to do so).

Some people are toxic because they’re just really, really hurt. You don’t have to give them any say or authority over your life, but you also can’t control how they feel. Pray for them, and – If you can/it doesn’t put you in harm’s way – gently nudge them towards help.

Some people are toxic because they simply haven’t learned to be mindful or own their feelings. This is an abstract idea we usually develop in childhood, but things like trauma can really mess with that. This makes taking responsibility, apologising, or being empathetic very difficult for them. That’s really sad.

Toxic people are not necessarily ‘bad’ people, and they’re not even always wrong. Recognise your own habits around them and apologise when you should.

You might even be a toxic person in some form. Due to your own hurts or fears you might draw unnecessary attention to yourself, be drawn to create conflict, desire to pull others into your fantasies, demonstrate a lack of empathy, struggle with severe jealousy or paranoia. It’s worth looking these things honestly in the face and seeking help. It’s ok. Really. I’ve had my own struggles and we’re all broken people. Clearing toxic behaviour from your life is part of growing to become more like Jesus. Remember, God is good and there’s always help to be had.

Some people are toxic people medically, but without a diagnosis. They could be sociopathic, narcissistic, or even psychopathic – but without a formal understanding or any clinical support. This is tricky, and it’s worth knowing that – unless you’re actually a doctor – you’re not a doctor. It’s not appropriate for you to make a diagnosis of their chronic mental health for them or to others. However, tread with care and think about how to limit your exposure to them, and their exposure to vulnerable people. I think I’ve met maybe two or three people in this category and boy, did they cause some damage pretty much everywhere they went.

Some people are actually, clinically toxic – although that’s the wrong word. It would more likely be that they have some kind of Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD). Make sure you have some form of risk assessment for individuals like this to limit their exposure to vulnerable people in your care and take a personal inventory on what place they should have in your life. More on that towards the end.

Properly toxic people can be dangerous, not just disruptive. They can be exploitive, irresponsible, and manipulative. They often lack empathy, guilt, remorse, or concern, and don’t learn from their mistakes. These are not people who should be leading in your groups. In this case, it may actually be better to have a messy removal than to continue putting people at risk.

You can manage your interactions with toxic people by taking care not to be drawn into their versions of reality, carefully but starkly challenging narratives (ideally by being frank, but without being personal), working through some conflict resolution with them, or even seeking mediation.

More personally, be mindful about how a toxic person makes you feel, try to care for them but remember it’s not your responsibility to fix them. Feel comfortable saying no, putting yourself first, unfollowing, unfriending, blocking, or even walking away. Pick your battles, focus on your own joys and positives. Be clear about your expectations, set clear boundaries and stick to them. Be friendly but pragmatic. Bottom line: Don’t take it personally.

Be aware of how much emotional energy you give to toxic people. We want to be a listening ear and a loving support, but if a person is fixated on creating negative environments, complaining constantly, demanding more empathy or sympathy all of the time, being openly distrustful, hijacking agendas with severe personal troubles, and largely failing to contribute anything healthy to your life or team, then they will suck you dry and leave you constantly exhausted if you let them. Love, pray, set boundaries and keep to them.

If you think you’ve got a toxic leader, move wisely. Discuss your situation with a line-manager or supervisor. Make objective notes on the behaviours that trouble you. If you and your supervisor agree there is a risk to vulnerable people or the functioning of the team, then start to put a plan together to address the person’s behaviour, and – if necessary – remove them from leadership.

Remember: God is always good; we’re all broken; we’re designed to live in healthy community; the world isn’t always helpful; we’re not called to do this alone; we can’t control how people feel; we should be mindful of our emotions and behaviours; messy is a better choice than messier; lead with love; always lead with love; seek compassion, and again – lead with love. You might be wrong. So, lead with love!

*Phew*.

 

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My biggest youth work confessions

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I never studied youth work.

I did two modules in youth ministry at Oak Hill, and one in youth mission at Cliff College. That’s it. I don’t have a degree in youth work, a JNC, or any other youth-related qualifications. Nada. Instead, I trained as a pastor and a church planter. I’ve read widely, but I’m not a trained youth worker in the formal sense.

I never wanted to be a youth worker.

I fell into it after training to be a pastor and trying (and failing) to get a job as a pastor at age twenty-one. Youth work wasn’t in my plans, even though that was the only thing I really had any experience of. Praise God that he dragged me into it after all!

I don’t really like youth work culture.

There’s weird tribalism across the church, and youth work is no exception. I always felt uncomfortable at youth work conferences and out of place in training events. I really don’t like youth work games or music at these things, and I feel strange when the guys on stage dress like the kids they lead. I often feel like myself and other youth workers are just pulling in different directions. I think lots of youth workers are just weird… but maybe it’s me!

I don’t think youth workers are pastors.

I think we’re actually called to be ministry ‘facilitators‘; adding specialist projects to the church, support to the Pastor, and training for the congregation. We are certainly called to do pastoral work (small p), but we’re not shepherds of our own flocks.

Soul Survivor always made me feel conflicted.

It’s not necessarily a theology thing (although the Christology could have done with some work!), and I don’t necessarily ‘dislike’ it. I’ve taken groups maybe ten times. But it did feel like a messy melting pot of unhinged and unguarded emotionalism. Take twenty young people, have them camp together for a week, add masses of sugar, rain, and dehydration, take away their usual sleep, then get them to sit on the floor for 4-6 hours a day listening to high-empathy talks and bass-heavy music. Then try to help them understand what a Christian life really looks like in comparison! …and we wonder why they’re confused?

I broke into my own office, which resulted in the police dusting for prints… and I didn’t tell anybody.

I was about to go on holiday and left my keys on my office desk by mistake, shutting the door on the way out. So, I climbed over a wall, jimmied the window open, and made a fishing rod out of a snooker cue and gaffer tape, retrieving the keys. When I got back two weeks later, I found out that the caretaker had reported a break in, and the police had come dusting for prints. I decided not to say anything.

I once received a serious concussion while raft building, went on to give a talk covered in blood, and then drove myself to the hospital.

I have no idea, to this day, what I said in that talk. I wonder if it was any good?

I went a whole year without taking a day off.

This was in my first full time ministry position, and I found myself in quite a difficult working environment. I felt unable to take time off, and even when I tried, I would often get ‘urgent’ calls from other members of staff.

I’m far better with ‘non-typical’ kids.

I was always a weird kid growing up, so I’ve tried to build youth groups for kids who don’t do youth groups. I rarely connect with ‘typical’ young people. Instead, my groups have always been full of nerds, artists, social outcasts, intellectuals, and those with additional needs.

I once told a young person to ‘shut up’.

I did this in my first session of being a full-time youth worker. Bad call. Bad shout. Stupid thing to do.

I think ‘doors always open’ policies are stupid.

Youth workers are not parents, and are definitely not the Holy Spirit, and sometimes they need to have their doors closed and their phones off. An always on youth worker is a sometimes off mum, or a partially available husband. Sometimes we’re meant to be ‘off the clock.’  We’re not supposed to be surrogate mums and dads. Instead I think we should provide access to a surrogate family in the church.

I’ve eaten a whole box of out-of-date tuck-shop chocolate bars in one sitting… several times.

Yup.

I think we exist because church is often rubbish.

I think youth work, as it exists today, is largely in place because Church became more about protecting an institution rather than growing as a movement. Poop. This means Church itself, as we understand it, is missing some key features in order to truly be ‘Church’ as described in the New Testament. This also means churches often don’t ‘work’ for young people. This is not because they aren’t cool or relevant enough, but because the baseline assumptions are built on something other than healthy ecclesiology.

Youth work has seriously affected my health.

I left my first job with PTSD, severe stress, and an incredible dependency on adrenaline, which my body unnaturally produced in unhealthy quantities. I was also dangerously underweight. It took years, including medication and counselling, to find some measure of health and normalcy. I’m still not all the way there yet, but God is good and I’m always on the mend.

I nearly quit, and retrained as a tree surgeon.

After an awful experience in my first full-time role, I decided to quit. I was done with youth work, done with Christian people, and done with church. But God wasn’t done with me, which is about when He moved us on to the amazing place we are now. However, I did get quite good with a chainsaw and a billhook!

I dyed my hair pink for charity – which went very badly.

I had my hair professionally dyed pink to raise money for a building project, which lasted over a year and permanently damaged my roots so that my hair began to fall out. I looked like Johnny Rotten for the first three months, and Bagpuss for the rest of the year. Not a good look.

I broke a wooden column in a listed building… and didn’t tell anybody.

I climbed up the side of it, grabbed the oak moulding at the top, which then broke off. I fell to the floor and it fell on top of me. However, I found that I could push it back on to the old nails, and it looked good as new. Shhhh…

I’ve ‘winged’ entire talks and whole sessions.

There’s been more than a few times that I’ve shown up without any prep and just thrown something together on the fly. This can work out when you’ve been in the game a while, but I also think it shows a shocking lack of respect for your young people.

I often feel quite alone.

Progressive Christians too easily write me off as being Reformed (I’m not, really) while more conservative Christians write me off as being liberal (I’m really not). Some of my theology falls under one category, some another. I genuinely try to follow my Bible, which in some cases has lead me to question standard narratives on both sides.

I have pretty thin skin.

I’ve spent much of my career trying to avoid getting hurt (the undiscussed dark side of people-pleasing). I’ve had some horrible experiences that I’d like to forget, and too often complaints and criticism drag those things back up. I’m working through shame and trying to understand 1) how to grieve, 2) how to have an argument, and 3) that I really can’t control what people think.

I genuinely think I wrote a good book.

It’s so weird being a Christian and an author, especially the whole ‘self-publicity’ thing. The amount of caveats you have to add is just silly and verges on dehumanising. However, I do think Rebooted is a genuinely good book. I’m really proud of it and worked really hard to write it. I was also really honest and vulnerable in it. I wish more people would read it, review it and recommend it. I think it’s actually a really important book too – but if I push it any harder… (insert self-publicity caveat here).

I wish youth groups, on the whole, didn’t exist.

Young people shouldn’t be sequestered in youth work. They have always been instrumental to God’s plans, and integral to His purposes for church. Why, then, do we insist on keeping them out of it? If I was ‘king for a day’ I would put young people on every eldership board and preaching rota. I think youth groups should always have some important, independent place in ministry, but within a much more significant church community, made up of all ages that are intentionally together. Youth work, in my opinion, should mostly be a specialist vehicle used for mission, family support, and individual discipleship, not the ‘main place’ for young people in church.

I really want young people to know Jesus – and that’s really all I want.

I care about young people growing up right, etc. etc. but all I really care about is that they know Jesus. I don’t mind so much if they don’t go to church for a while, struggle with their Bible, are smokers, swear too much, watch Game of Thrones, or are even working out their sexual identity. This is all really important, but we can work any of that out later. I just want them to know Jesus first. Then steal the rest.

 

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17 little observations and reflections on my first month as a PhD student

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I’m just over one month into my part-time New Testament PhD with Manchester University’s Centre for Biblical Studies. Here are some random and still under-digested thoughts from my first month of PhD life.

I have no doubt that these experiences and reflections will be different from many others, and with added COVID restrictions, I can’t pretend that really any of them would be typical.

  1. It’s actually quite hard. The step up from Masters to postgrad research is a little bit like stepping straight up from GCSE to undergrad, skipping A-Levels.
  2. The expectations switched dramatically from being a pure learner or information consumer, to being a significant contributor. This comes with additional and unexpected responsibilities to the academy.
  3. The learning style is immensely different than any other type of formal education I have experienced so far.
  4. There is something oddly agricultural about how the academy functions. Harvesting knowledge, removing ‘impurities’, stockpiling, packaging and distributing. Then lots of it sitting on shelves going bad.
  5. The emphasis is largely off the PhD award, and more onto you as an ongoing developing researcher. Networking is enormously important.
  6. The academy (at least in my field) really is quite a closed system. It’s also a closer-knit community that I realised. You rub shoulders with thinkers more than you sit under them. Clever people outside of the spotlight really can be quite kind.
  7. Researchers, on the whole, seem to demonstrate a more crafted and honed ability to think and reason rather than necessarily a larger storehouse of knowledge.
  8. People ask more questions than they offer answers. Answers are more often offered and suggested rather than dogmatically defended.
  9. Prizes, papers, and publications often mean more than degrees or qualifications. Institutions aren’t as important or distinct as they were at undergrad or Masters. You recognise quite quickly who the ‘giants’ in the room are, without them listing their credentials.
  10. Seminars are less about educating and much more about stimulating. Those giving papers are often in the room to learn, just as much as those listening.
  11. Dunning-Kruger is very true.
  12. Bible colleges really are quite sheltered and tribal. More so than I realised – and I was pretty sure of it before. Much of what my other degrees labelled as rare, strange, or liberal is actually common practice or understanding. There is no obvious or assumptive underlying worldview in regard to Christian theology – or else it’s much broader than I’ve experienced before.
  13. You are expected to become an ‘expert’ in much more than I was prepared for, and ‘conversant’ on much more than I was expecting.
  14. Everything starts on time.
  15. Academic administration is always just a little bit messy. I’ve needed to become an IT expert to get the most out of the experience, and navigate the many online student, library, and research portals.
  16. The environment can be immensely comforting and addictive. It comes with a strong pull to join the ivory tower and hide there forever.
  17. I’m a very small fish and I’m far from being the cleverest person in the room. I’m loving it.

 

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‘Preach the gospel in and out of season’ might have bigger ramifications for our practices than we realise.

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I believe the unfortunate buzzword for the last six decades of youth ministry has been ‘relevancy’, a word that I think we only have a cursory understanding of at best.

What we usually mean by relevancy is relating what we do to what young people do. So, by immersing ourselves in the world of young people we chase the winds of youth culture in order to keep our work on trend, up-to-date, and suitably relatable.

At the heart of this, however, there is an interesting conundrum. What happens when we are not relevant or up-to-date? Does the gospel suddenly lose its impact upon young people’s lives?

The gospel is the great uniter, but relevancy (as we tend to understand it) is the great divider. By simply appealing to popular trends you will always exclude many who don’t swim in them.

To back-peddle a little, I believe there is certainly some merit in a pursual of surface-level relevancy. It’s helpful to know what young people are struggling with, it’s useful to have initial common-ground conversation starters with young people, it’s important to value what they care about, and we should provide experiences that they can enjoy safely and easily. The issue is not seeking this kind of relevancy, it’s when this sense of relevancy drives our content.

Letting relevancy in the driving seat

Let’s do a thought experiment: It’s getting close to the beginning of a new term, you have gathered your leaders and asked them what young people are currently dealing with and what they’re currently into. This effectively gives you two lists like this:

  • Stress
  • Identity
  • Peer-pressure
  • Cancel culture
  • Sexuality
  • Bullying
  • Relationships

 

  • Divergent
  • Ed Sheeran
  • Billie Eilish
  • The Umbrella Academy
  • Conan Gray
  • The Mandalorian
  • TikTok

This, in turn, using some creative matchmaking, gives you a potential series:

  • Divergent Movie night on Identity
  • Cancel Culture from Billie’s perspective
  • Big pressure questions with a TikTok duet danceoff

Etc.

Does this sound familiar? It’s what happens when we lead with culture and let relevancy drive our work.

At one level, fine. Many young people will probably engage with these sessions, and they will provide you important opportunities and hopefully helpful conversations.

The problem, however, is threefold. First, you’ll end up recycling the same basic content dressed in different social clothing. The movie night on identity using Divergent, is probably exactly the same basic message you gave to the same group a few years ago on Twilight. Second, you’ll exclude young people who don’t like Ed Sheeran, watch The Mandalorian, or use TikTok. You’re casting a wide net, but a net with big holes in it. Third, you’re implicitly and subversively suggesting that Christianity is not relevant. If the ‘Christian bit’ is always a slave to the ‘culture bit’ – if it’s always wedged in later – then it implies that it’s not strong or unique enough to hold its own.

It’s this last issue that troubles me the most.

Changing out the driver

If, instead, we were to begin with young people as hungry, desperate, fearful, brilliant, and unique human people, and start by asking the question ‘what does this kind of human always need’ then we would come up with a very different list.

The need the gospel. They need to know they are fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image, beaten up by the fall, and beset by a struggling world.

They need to know that Jesus, the one who knit them together piece by piece, saw them hurting, lost, and alone and came into their world.

They need to know that Jesus lived a life fiercely pursing radical justice through immense love, that he was rejected by his people, cast out by his family, denied and deserted by his friends, and went to the cross.

They need to know that Jesus became the ultimate, pure, and perfect fulfilment of everything that has ever been written about knowing God, and that He sacrificed Himself, on our behalf, for us, in our place.

They need to know that as a human Jesus paid the ultimate human price for the human mess, but as God, he made that payment work eternally for every human that has ever or will ever live who say yes to Him.

They need to know that Jesus is God and that He didn’t stay dead. He has defeated the biggest, scariest enemy we have.

They need to know that Jesus is alive and right now is on the throne of the universe – a throne that they will get to play on one day.

They need to know that Jesus forgave those who rejected Him, cast Him out, denied Him and deserted Him. He even forgave those who held the nails.

They need to know that this Jesus hears every single word they say – and He is always, always with them.

They need to know this.

Culture is what gets wedged in later – as fun embellishment, or teaching examples, or helpful metaphors. Relevancy begins with the human, then moves outwards towards culture.

We need to get this in the right order.

I recently spoke to a youth worker who is doing a three-week series with his youth club to, in his words, ‘correct gender identity misinformation.’ Three weeks! Now that’s an important topic that should come up, whatever your perspective on it. If you’re giving healthy room for conversation and q&a, then I’m certain it will come up. But taking almost a whole month out to do it is totally leading with culture.

That, to me, sounds like someone who is fearful of culture and sees it as their job to fix young people’s thinking and save them from a corrupted world.

That. Is. Not. Our. Job.

Our job is to just lead them to Jesus. Of course, we will talk about these things and we should, but as carriages pulled behind the Jesus train. Jesus is strong enough to pull every issue, and unique enough to be relevant to every context. We just need to know Him and share what we know of Him with them.

If you have an hour with young people – tell them the gospel. If you have a week with young people – tell them to gospel. If you have a year with young people – tell them the gospel!

You can use cultural examples to help you teach it, you can use cultural styles to help frame the setting, and you can use cultural struggles to set up the need. But culture should not dictate the pace, the content, or the passions of your work.

Tell young people the gospel. It’s what they need more than anything.

 

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

‘When two or three are gathered…’ does not mean what you think it means

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Sometimes verses get so caught up in our quirky Christian landscape that we just accept common usage without question.

Matthew 18:20 is one such verse. It says, ‘For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.’

The way we frequently interpret this is when two of three gather in Jesus name what they are doing is fundamentally ‘church’. We use this as a definition of church verse. It’s often the first thing we say when someone asks us what a church is.

Is this true, and (as this idea comes up nowhere else in the Bible) is it what the passage actually means?

For instance, are two Christians are driving along the road listening to worship music a church? Are youth groups or Sunday School meetings churches? Is my family saying grace together at breakfast a church? If my mate and I get together in a coffee shop to badmouth local churches, putting them all to rights, is what we’re doing there, church?

So, is Matt. 18:20 a definition of church? Does anywhere Christians gather in some kind of Christian way necessarily then become church? That’s the question!

I’d suggest the answer is no. Those things above might all be part of the church landscape. They might be pieces of the church jigsaw puzzle, but none of them – in isolation – meet all the Bible’s requirements to be – in and of themselves – church.

That is, unless I’m wrong about Matt. 18:20. If it is a definition verse, so if church simply is the gathering of two or three believers in Jesus’ name, then all of those things above could themselves be called church. Let’s have a look at the passage.

That isn’t what the passage says

A text without a context is a con right? ‘You shall go out with joy’ (Is. 55:12) doesn’t mean find a nice girl called Joy and settle down, and ‘go to Bethal and sin’ (Am. 4:4) isn’t biblical warrant for a wild weekend in Blackpool. You can’t just pluck a verse out of the Bible and interpret it in isolation from its original setting.

In Matt. 18:20 Jesus wasn’t talking about prayer, or worship, or mission, or teaching, or fellowship, or really any of the attributes that we usually associate with church. He was talking super specifically about rebuke and correction. That’s really quite different to a definition of church.

So, the context for Matt. 18:20 is a process of correcting a fellow believer who is in the wrong. It says if someone is in sin, first go and talk to them privately (v.15). If unsuccessful bring a couple of witnesses and try again (v.16), then go to the gathering, and finally treat them as an unbeliever (v.17).

And, as the original Jewish readers of Matthew would have known, Jesus was refereeing to an Old Testament law which spoke about ‘two or three witnesses’ required in court to condemn somebody (Deut. 17:6; 19:15). Jesus reminds us that He is in the midst of messy conflict with justice, love and mercy in a way that the OT law couldn’t be.

The theme of the whole chapter is forgiveness and restoration. It’s no coincidence that the passage before is the lost sheep, and the one afterwards is the unmerciful servant. There is nothing in this passage to suggest that Jesus was saying ‘when two or three gather in my name, it’s church.’

This might sound like a random cracking of the whip (maybe it is; I hope not), but I really feel that it’s really important in times like this to get this right, because Christians are so incredibly pants at disagreeing with each other with love and kindness. We really need to highlight and celebrate these amazing passages where Jesus teaches us how to do it well.

My worry is by making it about some broadly obscure definition of church itself we might lose the original meaning and even overrule the other places where the New Testament does teach really clearly on what a church is.

It overrules other passages about church

The word for church is ἐκκλησία (ekklesia) which literally means a gathering or assembly, and usually refers to the whole body of believers. There is never any use of it applying to just two or three people.

There are many important New Testament passages about what church is. Its purpose (1 Cor. 12; 1 Tim. 3:14-15), activities (Acts 2:42-47; Heb. 10:24-25), leadership (Acts 14:23; Tit. 1:5-9), structure (1 Cor. 14:26; Eph. 2:19-22), sacraments (1 Cor. 11:18-23; Col. 2:12), teaching (2 Tim. 4:2-3; Jm. 3:1-2), mission (Matt. 9:37-38; Acts 1:8), worship (Col. 3:16; Eph. 5:18-21), and prayer (Rom. 8:26; Phil. 4:6; Jm. 5:14) to just name a few.

This is also built upon thousands of years of Israel’s history and practices as a gathered people before the coming of Jesus. So, the Law, Prophets, Tabernacle, Temple etc., all play at least some role in our understanding for how God’s people should gather today.

The Bible is really not silent when it comes to church – and it’s really not all that simple either.

Understanding the complicated nature of God’s body on earth is a rich tapestry of material – and rightly so. Just like a family it needs to be mediated on, wrested with, talked about, and lived within. It can’t just be swept away with a single brash, misplaced and misunderstood verse.

It diminishes what church is

The Bible gives us a really clear lead on what Church is and plucking a verse out of its context and oversimplifying it to simply mean ‘whenever two or three Christians gather’ is, forgive me, using the Bible clumsily at best and really quite disrespectfully at worst.

I’d even dare to go a little further and say reducing the church to simply mean a gathering of believers has done us a huge disservice and might be one of the reasons churches are so polarised today. Simply gathering doesn’t speak to the shape or the content of that gathering. It doesn’t require love, sacrifice, worship, prayer – or any of the other hard yet beautiful parts of what a church truly is.

We need to take church more seriously, not less, and see it as something truly special and unique, not just easy and accessible. We should fully embrace the safety, sanctity, and powerful spiritual presence and edification that we experience when we carefully and obediently come together in the ways the Bible teaches.

God designed us an amazing present, let’s not run off excitedly with the box leaving the gift behind!

It messes with God’s omnipresence

‘When two or three are gathered… I am with them.’ The understanding here is that the only thing you need for church is believers and God’s presence. The problem with this is a logical one: God is always present.

God is present with me right now, alone, without another person or two gathered with me. There is no space nor time where God is not present. God’s presence alone with a couple of believers, therefore, cannot be the only requirement for church. He is in all places at all times, and not all places or times are church.

The presence spoken about in this passage is the presence of a witness, bringing justice, grace, peace, security and mercy to these disciplinary proceedings. There is a special awareness and function of God’s presence. It’s not a unique time or place where Jesus happens to be present.

Being unclear on this can lead to all kinds of difficulties, especially when new believers are trying to work out what God always being with them means. In one breath we say to them, ‘God will never leave nor forsake you,’ (Heb. 13:5) but in the next we seem to be saying something like, ‘You need to grab another person before God is actually with you.’

I know it’s unlikely that any of us would say it exactly that way, but that doesn’t mean a new believer wouldn’t hear it exactly that way. We may have squared away the illogic of it through years of making peace with misunderstanding the verse, but new believers are sharp and they often see these things a little more objectively than we do. They are also vulnerable, and it’s important that take care of them in their new growth by being clear on exactly these things.

It adds quirks to prayer

Another awkward way we read the presence language in this verse is ‘if two or three agree in prayer, God’s presence makes their prayer ‘work’ in their favour.’ The issue, however, is – similar to the second point above – there is a whole plethora of material in the Bible about prayer that this idea would jus steamroll over or at very least significantly re-steer in a direction that, ultimately, would put us in the position of power over God. I think that’s unhealthy.

As much as I believe in the authority of prayer and the power of God’s presence within it, reading this passage as a ‘two or three to agree the prayer’ mechanism again ignores the context of the passage (which never even mentions prayer), and – perhaps more importantly – creates a formulaic rather than faith-driven relationship with prayer.

So, in a nutshell

The Bible is a wonderful book, rich in detail about our lives with God and how we are to meet with Him and each other in church and prayer. Let’s not skip all of that for a theologically clumsy soundbite.

Matt. 18:20 is not a definition of church. There is, however, plenty in the Bible about church for us to learn from. Church is incredible and should to be enjoyed in its fullness rather than increasingly simplified. Prayer is relational not formulaic, and God’s omnipresence is not something to mess around with.

The other side of the coin

On the other side of the coin, just having a building and a weekly service with some Christian language and ritual (and quiche) thrown in doesn’t make you church either! Look out for a post soon on what I think a church needs to be and do to truly be the Body of Christ on earth.

 

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash