One of the most serious yet neglected reasons youth workers quit.

They’re not truly part of the body.

This sounds like an odd thing to say, but let me give you a story and you tell me if you think I’m right.

In my first youth and childrens’ work position Sunday mornings were immensely busy. I was often the first person to arrive in church and the last to leave. I was responsible for the first fifteen minutes of the service, then I oversaw the four Sunday Schools in the halls across the road. If I had a free minute, I’d usually sneak into my office and do some prep for the youth club that evening. It was quite lonely – which is not a feeling that one should naturally associate with gathered times of worship. Every fourth Sunday I ran the entire all-age service. As a result, I only attended (at most) three or four entire services in my whole four years in that post. If I’m sure honest, I can only really remember part of one. When I asked my wife, she couldn’t even remember that.

This is not an isolated story – maybe it even resonates with your own? Everywhere I go, I meet youth and children’s workers who are out of the main service for most weeks. The wisest of them rota in a week where they’re not required, but that’s usually just one in four, and (as any pastor will tell you) not doing anything doesn’t mean people still won’t require you for everything.

Desperate for community

After three years in that position, I joined a home group. I wasn’t required to (and as a big believer in working hours; I don’t think this should be a demand), but I wish someone looked into my personal growth earlier and encouraged me to. It was bittersweet. It was helpful in that I suddenly had a place of real fellowship and prayer, but it hurt in that it highlighted just how much I had been missing.

An immensely important part about being a Christian is gathering with your brothers and sisters to worship together. Mutual edification, sharing communion, equipping for mission, etc. happens in the gathered body. Although worship does also happen in other zones too (and I think that the church should de-centralise its main service), the dominant culture of worship today is still that Sunday time together.

Almost all of my times of worship in that first job we’re in spaces I was running or were alongside young people or children with dramatically different spiritual needs and temperaments than my own as an adult. I couldn’t switch off and just be part of it.

Working or gathering?

There is also the odd tug-of-war between being a ‘member’ of a church and an ‘employee’ of a church. These lines are often very blurry, which can make even the best-intentioned worker feel distant and out-of-place in family times of worship. A scary question to ask a youth worker is whether they would choose the church they work at for personal worship if they weren’t, in fact, working there.

If a youth or childrens’ worker is rarely in the gathering to receive from God, be challenged by others, add fellowship as a community-member and not just as a leader, then what happens to their own growth?

My concern is that there are a significant number of youth and children’s workers who always feel ‘on’ on a Sunday time of gathered worship, to such the degree that they don’t feel part of the worshipping community that God has called them to. Not only does this make them less effective, but it stunts their own personal growth and spiritual accountability.

So, what can we do about it?

Line-mangers take this seriously. Your youth and children’s workers need worship and fellowship. Make it happen. Do you know what your worker is doing?

Pastors take this seriously. Have you bought into a church culture where a small number of employed people are paid to ‘provide’ a service for others to consume? Are you also not part of the body?

Volunteers take this seriously. Step up to take responsibility so that the worker can delegate more effectively. Do you know where your worker is struggling?

Youth worker take this seriously. Your faith and your family come first, and both require a community of worshippers to belong with. Do you feel you belong?

Photo by Jackson Simmer on Unsplash