Why I prefer talking to young people than adults

An afternoon spent scrolling through twitter, is usually a year lost from my life. I think it’s important for Christians to engage in public discourse, but one begins to wonder how realistic that is when the phrase ‘discourse’ has been reduced to almost anything shy of throwing our own faeces.

At some point during these ‘discussions’, inevitably the word childish will appear. Like thus:

“Your reasoning is so childish!”

“This is like talking to a child!”

“Oh, grow up, you child!”

And there is it. In the middle of the adult mudslinging comes the claim that low-brow, unintelligent, offensive, churlish, or downright stupid comments are in fact ‘infantile’, more suited to the playground than the arena of adult conversation.

And herein lies my problem. On the whole, I’ve had far more intelligent, nuanced, respectful, gracious, and challenging conversations with young people than adults.

I’m not kidding.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve had lots of stimulating conversations with awesome adults too, however they always come with a lot more effort. Adulthood is a cognitive disease that we suffer against constantly. We’re handicapped in a way young people are largely not.

In Deut. 6:7 we’re told to ‘impress’ the character and commandments of God onto young people. The word impress means to make an impression, so to mould a shape into soft malleable clay before it hardens. If the clay is soft enough, even a feather will make an impression, but once it hardens, you’re going to need an angle grinder to make any change.

Young people are impressionable. Now this comes with dangers and challenges too, but it mostly means that they are so much more open to nuance, questions, discussions, and flexible cognitive growth. All the things we, as set-clay, suck at – technically speaking that is.

Young people will tell us what they think, they will argue, dispute, challenge, and even provoke. But they’ll do all of this without resting on their laurels. They’re trying their strengths – which is totally different to trying to big themselves up by dragging others down.

I love talking to young people.

They understand nuance, they talk, they challenge, they think deeply, they are open, and if you treat them with respect, they will do the same with you.

I wonder if one of the reasons Jesus tells us to accept His Kingdom like a little child (Matt. 18:3) is largely because of this. It’s immensely hard to change an entrenched opinion as an adult, but when talking to young people, an opinion can change nineteen times in ten minutes – without needing to self-justify it. That’s some ninja brain skills right there.

So sure, I like talking with adults. I like well-read, stimulating and challenging conversations, but on the whole these conversations tend to be harder work. With so much ego in play and opinions in stone, it feels more like an running an obstacle course than enjoying in a dance.

I love talking with young people. The surface may be rough, but just underneath they have an intuitive grasp of nuance that we, as adults, should envy not ridicule.

Young people are awesome. Here endeth the rant.

Photo by Mihai Surdu on Unsplash