What makes a rubbish youth group work?

I sometimes wonder about our standards for what constitutes ‘good’ youth groups.

If young people are as varied as humanity itself (which they are), and leader’s love for them can express itself in many different ways (which it can) – then who are we to decide if its quality youth work? If the result of that formula looks poor to us, we should look a level or two deeper before casting judgement.

I get to visit lots of different youth clubs as part of my job – and one of the things I’m supposed to do is say what’s not working and how to fix it. A few years ago I visited a ‘rubbish’ youth club.

It met in the evening – too late to be ‘after school’ and too early to be an evening out. It was right around dinner time, so thee kids were missing food and missing family time.

The meeting – which was a completely random mix of young children and teenagers – gathered round a few nasty looking go-pack tables, with over-diluted orange squash, and dry cookies that had been stored in cling-film.

There were no games, and a completely incomprehensible craft. The materials they used were both too young for most of the group, and too old to have been considered relevant; the weirdest bit though – was the youth leader.

She was about 85 years old, wearing every manor of doily, and smelling faintly like a mix of old spice and fish. She sat a the end of the table and ruled the room like a quietly spoken drill master. I sat in the corner making a long mental list of everything wrong with the group.

At the end of the night, this leader broke the news to the young people that because of her diminishing health she would have to step down. I was totally unprepared for the response.

Tears. Everywhere. From the youngest children to the hardened 16 year old boys. There were quiet sobs, many hugs, and a real brokenness in the group. She then proceeded to talk to every single person around the table one by one to tell them what she loved about them, and what her favourite memory was of each of them.

She had remembered everything! And – as was clear from her examples – she had spent decades opening up her whole life to young people. She had taught many of them to bake; she was a math tutor to several more; she had provided a home for some who had lost parents, or had run away. She had also been there for many of them, literally, since they were born.

I had never seen anything like it!

They were committed to coming to this terrible youth group, because she had committed to loving them.

I had never seen love like that.

These were healthy, holistic, cared for, supported, nurtured, discipled young people – in the worst looking youth club you’ve ever seen.

Let’s get our youth clubs right, of course! Let’s be clear, fun, relevant, engaging, and accessible. But – so much more than that – let’s love.

If we get nothing else right – let’s get this right. Let’s love these young people. It’s that which holds everything together, it’s that that makes the pieces work, and it’s that which changes the young people’s lives.