The Latest in Academic Youth Work Part 1: Fatherlessness and Discipleship

This week is a study week for me. I’m in my old Bible College Library for 5 days working through Youth Ministry and Theology issues. Hopefully at some point I’ll get to grill some of my ol’ lecturers too!

Oak Hill has simply the best Bible-driven, theological education Britain can offer – so I’m starting off by working through the last couple of years worth of the the Youth Ministry Course’s top scoring Dissertations. One from 2013 on Fatherlessness and Discipleship stood out for me today:

“An Approach to the Discipleship of Children and Young People with Absent Fathers, Particularly Considering Their Understanding of and Interaction with God as Father” by Mellissa Christine Tuthill.

This is a brilliant, grounded and fantastically helpful approach to nurturing and growing young people who have grown up without a father.

Mellissa starts with devastating statistics which show that 50% of young people no longer live with both parents by age 15. The result, particularly for those who grow up without dad (whether he is physically or emotionally removed), is a fundamental underdevelopment of spiritual, emotional and psychological well being.

She then goes on to paint a picture of the Biblical picture of dad in the Jewish home as teacher, provider and protector and shows how each of these find their source and fulfillment in the person of God the Father.

To move us towards application Mellissa outlines a three-pronged model for discipleship that would be particularly effective for the Fatherless:

1. Teaching and applying doctrine
   Correcting the distorted image of the Father from Scripture – particularity passages that speak to adoption, unconditional love, the trinity, perfection and God as Father.

Further to support this, working through important relational theology such as sin and idolatry and the nature of Grace.

2. Biblical counselling
   Allowing the young person to work through and discuss the issues they face as a result of fatherlessness and work to a place of acceptance and forgiveness.

Mellissa takes us through Kübler-Ross’ classic stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, and encourages us as counsellor to help young people through this process.

Some key phrases stood out to me here, specifically the importance of validating emotions and being as specific as possible in the healing process.

3. Mentoring
   What Mellissa says is arguably the most significant and most effective method of discipleship for fatherless young people. The key to this is sharing life with young people, being something like a Father to them and following the practices of Jesus and Paul.

Much of mentoring comes from being a loving role model, not just from a mentor but from exposure to a whole, loving family unit. This latter point is what is often missed in conversations about mentoring. This can happen though intentional time together, but often happens through just ‘going shopping’, ‘washing the car’ or ‘going for a bike ride.’