How to talk to young people about ghosts

For people of faith and miracles, we can be surprisingly blasé about other people’s beliefs. It’s not uncommon for a youth worker to respond to a question about aliens, ghosts, mediums, telepathy etc. with some variation of ‘well that’s all just nonsense!’

This can be especially hard for a young person to swallow when in the very next breath we expect them to believe in what’s fundamentally unseen and ask them to engage in rituals that communicate with some ‘other’ being behind an essentially spiritual curtain.

‘Well that’s all just nonsense… now let me tell you about how the Holy Spirit is all around us all the time and can even give us pictures and words for people. Let’s wait in a circle in the dark with some candles lit and our hands open and ask him to show Himself to us…’

Surface hypocrisy aside, when we unceremoniously write off concepts such as ghosts, we could also inadvertently trigger immensely entrenched issues in a young person’s development.

Ghosts and mental triggers

Young people process the abstract and fearful concept of death very differently, and regardless whether or not they have suffered bereavement themselves, thinking about ghosts can jab hard at complicated experiences and even mental trauma.

When you add to this the many books, boxsets and movies they consume with paranormal themes – during their turbulent cognitive development – there is a just lot for their imaginations to draw on.

For some young people, the concept of ghosts can be part of how they process grief and feel connected to a person they have lost. This can have huge ramifications for understanding things like prayer.

Then there are young people who are so sure that they, or someone they know, has had a paranormal encounter; seen a ghost, heard a whisper, felt a presence. Even though its easy (and maybe likely) that these experiences are the result of autosuggestion and hysteria, writing them off as such doesn’t help the young people who experienced something.

When I was thirteen, our class went on an adventure holiday set in a 16^th Century Manor house. By the end of the week we were all ‘convinced’ that we had seen the ghostly ‘white lady’ spectre who haunts the tower, but one or two young people were genuinely terrified that they truly had – and left traumatised by the trip.

Natural spiritual curiosities

There is some overlap between our spiritual world of faith, and the possible world of the paranormal. I’m inclined to think that much of the latter is largely a misunderstanding of the former. It’s a little bit like walking around with a Wi-Fi phone, registering hotspots, but not having the password to actually get online. You know that there’s something around that you can’t see, but you can’t understand what it truly is without Jesus. This means that there could be something going on in some of these ‘paranormal’ experiences – truly and really – but just mistakenly identified and labelled.

When it comes to young people, the muscles being exercised by supernatural questions are similar muscles needed for faith. You can use a bicep to lend a hand or punch a face; it’s still the same muscle, even with a dramatically different focus.

Young people are naturally curious about the supernatural, they walk around with their Wi-Fi radars on. They are receptive to ghost stories, UFO conspiracies, mind reading, magic and monsters because it stretches that curiosity muscle. So much of our faith, such as Jesus rising from the dead, prayer, communion, miracles, omnipresence, etc. uses that same muscle. So, just stamping down on their curiosities isn’t the answer. If we do, we might not like where they go to scratch that itch.

Even if we believe things like ghosts are either 1) completely fabricated and untrue, or 2) are more likely the work of spiritual forces in the world (demons, angels etc.), just writing off the experiences and the natural curiosities of young people is lazy at best and damaging at worst.

So, what can we do?

Embrace the question

When these questions come up, engage them. Let curiosity have its day without just throwing concepts out the window like flaming bags of poop. You’re right to give your Christian response but do so with the same wisdom and sensitivity that you would show a question on something like the problem of suffering.

Facilitate the conversation

Ask the room to share their experiences and stories. You’ll be amazed at what comes up and from who! Not only will this provide important information about your young people, but it will help create that ‘safe space’ of sharing that we’re always railing on about. Always bring your faith to bear on the conversation, but with wisdom and respect.

Know your Bible

Know where you stand on passages like 1 Sam. 28, where Saul talks with Samuel’s ‘ghost.’ Ask why people thought Jesus a ‘ghost’ in Matt. 14 and Lk. 24? Study the ‘spiritual realms’ in Eph. 6, Col. 1 and 1 Pt. 3. Look closely at angels, prayer, prophecy, visions, and other ‘phenomena’ as signs of the spiritual world. Don’t be ignorant about demons, or the spiritual battles fought over us.

Point to Jesus

As with all theology, point to Jesus. Look at how his incarnation, life, death, teaching, resurrection, ascension and return inform questions about ghosts and spirits. Look at ‘life after death’, and make sure you bring that to the conversation. Always ask ‘what does our faith in Jesus do to this?’

Go gently

Because of the mixture of people in a room, and the complex triggers surrounding death and the unseen, go gently. Your job is to point young people to Jesus in a safe and constructive way, it’s not to square every circle, dot every ‘i’ and cross every ‘t’. You don’t need you to steamroll over anything that ‘isn’t’ quite right.’ Believe me, if you focus on their faith in Jesus, God can handle the rest – He’s got their lifetimes to do it.

Photo by Jr Korpa on Unsplash