Being realistic with ‘incarnational youth ministry’

Youth Workers, by and large, are human beings.

Mostly.

This means that there are a few bare necessities that they require: Regular feeding, a comfortable place to sleep, fresh bedding (and underwear) and a frequent change of water (or redbull).

There’s something else they need as well, though:

Space. Away from young people, church families, young people, school carparks, young people, the senior pastor, young people, church elders, young people, the treasurer, oh and young people. Youth Pastors need times when they are not ‘on.’

This is apparently a problem.

It’s a problem for the church board and senior pastors who haven’t quite made the mental distinction between ‘work’ hours and ‘get out of my face I need time with my wife and TV’ hours.

I remember – vividly – being called by my Senior Pastor years ago on my day off to give him a lift to the shops. Even though I was in another town, away at another set of shops with my wife. No apology, no thanks – and no taking ‘no’ for answer.

It’s also a problem for our young people, who (largely due to our ‘always on’ demeanor) think it’s entirely natural to call our private mobile number at 3am on a Wednesday. Entirely freaking natural! … bless.

It’s finally a problem for us! To the youth worker’s theoretical-dribble-driven interpretation of ‘incarnational ministry.’ Youth workers don’t make a habit of being youth workers for very long, so not many of us make it past the purely theoretical to the actually realistic practical zone.

What we think ‘incarnational’ means.

We think it means making every single part of our life open and available for any reason so we don’t miss any potential opportunity to minister. We have an open door policy for our entire lives, and we make sure that people can contact us in any way, at any time, for any reason.

Because this is what Jesus did right? *cough* Luke 5:16; 22:41; Matthew 6:6; 14:22-23; Mark 1:35; 6:30-32; 7:24 *cough*.

Your Senior Pastor, the Church Board and even your Young People are not entitled to every part of your life. You need space with God, with your family, and with yourself – so that you will be more effective.

So, why do this?

An ex-youth worker grabbed me after a young people related message I gave at a local church last week. She and her husband were one of twelve couples involved in a large (and seemingly amazing) youth ministry.

Out of those twelve couples, she and her husband are the only couple still together.

#justsaying, let’s get realistic and sensible – and be in this for the long road ahead!